A spiritual Journey

So much of the time lately I have felt impatient, frustrated, irritable and overwhelmed with my kids.  I just assumed it was because they are going through a difficult phase that is wearing me out.  But I never really let myself admit that perhaps it is a reflection of my spiritual life.  I just got back from a women's retreat with my church and it was all about Water.  The Living Water.  Over the weekend I realized that I can't react with peace, patience, kindness, joy, goodness, love, self-control, faithfulness or gentleness because I'm not letting God be the vine.  I'm trying to be my own tree and I'm failing.
I wrote a poem while I was at the retreat and I am really hoping it is the first in a series.  The beginning of a journey that started with the realization of where I was and where I want to go.  Isn't that how most journeys start?  Only, I didn't really realize where I was....

Gather Me Up

My soul is a dry parched land

and my mind is a shattered piece of glass

I cough out the dust

and kick the broken shards to the sky

Oh Lord, Gather me up

Oh Lord, fill my spirit

Oh Lord, Gather me up

Oh Lord, Quench my thirsty soul

My feet won't move toward you

and my hands are fists swinging wide

I scream out your name in pain

and cry out for healing rains

Oh Lord, Gather me up

Oh Lord, quench my thirsty soul

Oh Lord, Gather me up!

2011-Melissa Duckworth

There is no resolution yet.  There is only a picture of a desperate thirsty soul.  My prayer is that every day "Christ be in my waking, as the sun is rising, in my day of working, with me every hour."  Surround me with the Life giving Water, Oh Lord.  Quench my spirit.